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i've more or less moved to [info]__camy
add me and you may be added back, the 'important' stuff is friends only.
kthx.
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dreamdebris: oi oi
dreamdebris: how'd your trip go?
brilliancexalive: it went well, at least what i remember of it
brilliancexalive: it was all kinda dream like
brilliancexalive: more than other trips have been
dreamdebris: word
dreamdebris: i love it when my trips go like that
brilliancexalive: i think i get enlightened a little bit more every time i trip.
dreamdebris: yeah, it gives you alot of perspective
brilliancexalive: yeah, totally. it's like when you're tripping, you're sitting on top of a large building, and when you're sober, you're walking on the sidewalk down below.
dreamdebris: exactly
dreamdebris: great way to put it
brilliancexalive: you know, i've been reading a lot about timothy leary, and how he tried to change lives with LSD
brilliancexalive: i don't think he was far off
brilliancexalive: he just went about it in the wrong way
brilliancexalive: i thought about that while tripping.
brilliancexalive: how great it would be to enlighten people with thoughts and ideas shared while they were tripping
dreamdebris: yeah
brilliancexalive: it will never happen in this world though
dreamdebris: it's too bad this world is so terrified of what they don't comprehend
brilliancexalive: yeah, fear freezes us into sitting around and doing nothing
brilliancexalive: we all have that problem in different ways
dreamdebris: crystalization of perceptual bubbles :\
dreamdebris: everything becomes solid
brilliancexalive: haha
brilliancexalive: nothing's solid, we just think it is
dreamdebris: and for the most part people do not change how they see things
dreamdebris: exactly!
dreamdebris: that's my point
brilliancexalive: i like to think of people as big batteries ;-)
brilliancexalive: yeah, we could talk about this stuff forever, but everything is interconnected in some way or another.
dreamdebris: i agree
dreamdebris: synchronicity
brilliancexalive: yes
brilliancexalive: wasn't jung the first to point that out?
brilliancexalive: not that anyone was listening then, or even listening now
dreamdebris: i've no idea
dreamdebris: but if he did, then props to him
dreamdebris: it's so true
brilliancexalive: google it ;-)
dreamdebris: people rarely listen
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I don't think many people heed Bush's advice ever... I mean, after all, here's a compilation of things that man has said.

MAKE THE PIE HIGHER

I think we all agree, the past is over.
This is still a dangerous world.
It's a world of madmen and uncertainty
And potential mental losses.

Rarely is the question asked
Is our children learning?
Will the highways of the Internet
Become more few?

How many hands have I shaked?
They misunderestimate me.
I am a pitbull on the pantleg of opportunity.

I know that the human being
And the fish can coexist.
Families is where our nation finds hope,
Where our wings take dream.

Put food on your family!
Knock down the tollbooth!
Vulcanize society!
Make the pie higher!
Make the pie higher!

I do lament the fact that many Americans are uneducated on what's going on outside our country though I think that has to do with the fact that many Americans haven't really travelled around the world. People I know who have travelled a good deal can tell you about the "other places in the world" easily and are far more interested in those places as well.

Ah, someday I will become on of those people who will travel the world, never have a car, and see everything, :)

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Finally got a haircut. I'm not how sure I am about it yet though, right now I don't really like it. Maybe it will 'grow' on me.... haha.
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NEW ORLEANS - With thousands feared drowned in what could be America's deadliest natural disaster in a century, New Orleans' leaders all but surrendered the streets to floodwaters Wednesday and began turning out the lights on the ruined city — perhaps for months.

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Looting spiraled so out of control that Mayor Ray Nagin ordered virtually the entire police force to abandon search-and-rescue efforts and focus on the brazen packs of thieves who have turned increasingly hostile.

Nagin called for an all-out evacuation of the city's remaining residents. Asked how many people died, he said: "Minimum, hundreds. Most likely, thousands."

With most of the city under water, Army engineers struggled to plug New Orleans' breached levees with giant sandbags and concrete barriers, and authorities drew up plans to clear out the tens of thousands of remaining people and practically abandon the below-sea-level city.

Nagin said there will be a "total evacuation of the city. We have to. The city will not be functional for two or three months." And he said people would not be allowed back into their homes for at least a month or two.

If the mayor's death-toll estimate holds true, it would make Katrina the worst natural disaster in the United States since at least the 1906 San Francisco earthquake and fire, which have blamed for anywhere from about 500 to 6,000 deaths. Katrina would also be the nation's deadliest hurricane since 1900, when a storm in Galveston, Texas, killed between 6,000 and 12,000 people.

A slow exodus from the Superdome began Wednesday as the first of nearly 25,000 refugees left the miserable surroundings of the football stadium and were transported in buses to the Astrodome in Houston, 350 miles away. Conditions in the Superdome had become horrendous: There was no air conditioning, the toilets were backed up, and the stench was so bad that medical workers wore masks as they walked around.

In Mississippi, bodies are starting to pile up at the morgue in hard-hit Harrison County. Forty corpses have been brought to the morgue already, and officials expect the death toll in the county to climb well above 100.

Tempers were beginning to flare in the aftermath of the storm. Police said a man fatally shot his sister in the head over a bag of ice in Hattiesburg, Miss.

President Bush flew over New Orleans and parts of Mississippi's hurricane-blasted coastline in Air Force One. Turning to his aides, he said: "It's totally wiped out. ... It's devastating, it's got to be doubly devastating on the ground."

"We're dealing with one of the worst natural disasters in our nation's history," Bush said later in a televised address from the White House, which most victims could not see because power remains out to 1 million Gulf Coast residents.

The federal government dispatched helicopters, warships and elite SEAL water-rescue teams in one of the biggest relief operations in U.S. history, aimed at plucking residents from rooftops in the last of the "golden 72 hours" rescuers say is crucial to saving lives.

As fires burned from broken natural-gas mains, the skies above the city buzzed with National Guard and Coast Guard helicopters frantically dropping baskets to roofs where victims had been stranded since the storm roared in with a 145-mph fury Monday. Atop one apartment building, two children held up a giant sign scrawled with the words: "Help us!"

Looters used garbage cans and inflatable mattresses to float away with food, blue jeans, tennis shoes, TV sets — even guns. Outside one pharmacy, thieves commandeered a forklift and used it to push up the storm shutters and break through the glass. The driver of a nursing-home bus surrendered the vehicle to thugs after being threatened.

Police were asking residents to give up any firearms before they evacuated neighborhoods because officers desperately needed the firepower: Some officers who had been stranded on the roof of a hotel said they were shot at.

Police said their first priority remained saving lives, and mostly just stood by and watched the looting. But Nagin later said the looting had gotten so bad that stopping the thieves became the top priority for the police department.

"They are starting to get closer to heavily populated areas — hotels, hospitals, and we're going to stop it right now," Nagin said in a statement to The Associated Press.

Hundreds of people wandered up and down shattered Interstate 10 — the only major freeway leading into New Orleans from the east — pushing shopping carts, laundry racks, anything they could find to carry their belongings.

On some of the few roads that were still open, people waved at passing cars with empty water jugs, begging for relief. Hundreds of people appeared to have spent the night on a crippled highway.

Nagin, whose pre-hurricane evacuation order got most of his city of a half a million out of harm's way, estimated 50,000 to 100,000 people remained, and said that 14,000 to 15,000 a day could be evacuated in ensuing convoys.

"We have to," Nagin said. "It's not living conditions."

He also expressed concern about people staying in the water: "People walking in that water with those dead bodies, it can get in your pores, you don't have to drink it."

In addition to the Astrodome solution, the Federal Emergency Management Agency was considering putting people on cruise ships, in tent cities, mobile home parks, and so-called floating dormitories.

The floodwaters streamed into the city's streets from two levee breaks near Lake Pontchartrain a day after New Orleans thought it had escaped catastrophic damage from Katrina. The floodwaters covered 80 percent of the city, in some areas 20 feet deep, in a reddish-brown soup of sewage, gasoline and garbage.

Around midday, officials with the state and the Army Corps of Engineers said the water levels between the city and the lake had equalized, and water had stopped spilling into New Orleans, and even appeared to be falling. But the danger was far from over.

The Corps of Engineers said it planned to use heavy-duty Chinook helicopters to drop 15,000-pound bags of sand and stone as early as Wednesday night into the 500-foot gap in the failed floodwall.

But the agency said it was having trouble getting the sandbags and dozens of 15-foot highway barriers to the site because the city's waterways were blocked by loose barges, boats and large debris.

In Washington, the Bush administration decided to release crude oil from the federal petroleum reserves after Katrina knocked out 95 percent of the Gulf of Mexico's output. But because of the disruptions and damage to the refineries, gasoline prices surged above $3 a gallon in many parts of the country.

The death toll has reached at least 110 in Mississippi alone. But the full magnitude of the disaster had been unclear for days — in part, because some areas in both coastal Mississippi and New Orleans are still unreachable, but also because authorities' first priority has been the living.

In Mississippi, for example, ambulances roamed through the passable streets of devastated places such as Biloxi, Gulfport, Waveland and Bay St. Louis, in some cases speeding past corpses in hopes of saving people trapped in flooded and crumbled buildings.

State officials said Nagin's guess of thousands dead seemed plausible.

Lt. Kevin Cowan of the state Office of Emergency Preparedness said it is too soon to say with any accuracy how many died. But he noted that since thousands of people had been rescued from roofs and attics, it could be assumed that there were lots of others who were not saved.

"You have a limited number of resources, for an unknown number of evacuees. It's already been several days. You've had reports there are casualties. You all can do the math," he said.

On the flooded streets of New Orleans, dozens of fishermen from up to 200 miles away floated in on caravans of boats to pull residents out.

One of those rescued was 40-year-old Kevin Montgomery, who spent three days shuttling between the attic of a one-story home and a canopy he built on the roof.

Every once in a while, Mongtomery would see a body float by. But he cannot swim and had to fight the urge to wade in and tie them down.

"It was terrible," he said. "All I could do was pass them by and hope that God takes care of the rest of that."

It's amazing what things can make our lives different.
Not that this did.

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I'm done with the internet for awhile, I'm sick of playing games with people.

Goodbye.

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nothing beats SFU's finale.

that is the best 75 minutes of ANYTHING i've ever seen before in my life.

http://www.hbo.com/sixfeetunder/obituary/episode63.shtml

Current Mood:
complacent complacent
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all personal entries will now be at [info]__camy

add me if you wish, i may or may not add you back.

i'm still going to use this account and am not going to delete any friends.

Current Mood:
hungry hungry
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there's so much about myself i've yet to learn.

i don't know how much i'm going to be writing in here anymore, and if i do, i don't know how heartfelt or exciting it will be, it will probably just be links to stuff and 'today i went to the park , it was fun' type entries.

if i didn't have 3 years worth of journaling on this name, i'd just delete it and start a new one.

i think it's time for a change, though.

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Last night was incredible, it easily makes it on the top ten best days of my life.
I can't help but be doubtful about the situation. It's not that I don't want good things to happen in my life, it's that I've been lied to before and this may not be any different. But I'm really REALLY hoping that it's all true and I'm not just imagining things and he's not making it up.

I guess all I can be is hopeful.


I take ALL OF THIS back.
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tired and bored.

not a good combonation.

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blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
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just when I had some good things to talk to my therapist about, she up and fucking cancels my appointment tomorrow.
Current Mood:
fuckshitdamnfuckshitfuckfuck! fuckshitdamnfuckshitfuckfuck!
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It was the end of the world, or something. All the countries were fighting, food and water was rationed.
I was with my mom. I needed new clothes because my old ones didn't fit. We went to some kind of cheap clothing store and I found a pair of jeans for 9 dollars and some shirts.
My mom eventually disapears. I run into Billy Corgan and he tells me to come with him. We walk hand in hand until we reach some game show that a lot of people are watching. We're up on stage, and we're ballroom dancing. I'm hugging him, we're smiling, we kiss, we hold hands. I put my hands on his back and he has a tail. and his tail is wagging. I say to him 'you have a tail?', he smiles, and I tell him I think it's cute. Then I wake up.
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1. When you look at yourself in the mirror, what's the first thing you look at? my face
2. How much cash do you have on you? 15 bucks
3. What's a word that rhymes with "TEST"? lest
4. Favorite plant? haha. marijuana plants?
5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone? unknown caller. weird chick who thought i was some guy.
6. What is your main ring tone on your phone? the super mario bros ring
7. What shirt are you wearing? white tank top
8. Do you "label" yourself? label?
9. Name brand of your shoes currently wearing? i'm barefoot
10. Bright or Dark Room? huh?
11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you? she's entertaining.
12. Ever "spilled the beans"? ?
13. What were you doing at midnight last night? watching a moive with a friend.
14. What did your last text message you received on your cell phone say? "duh"
15. Do you ever click on "Pop Ups" or Banners? does anyone?
16.What's a saying that you say a lot? fuckhead
17. Who told you they loved you last? my mom i think
18. Last furry thing you touched? the keyboard?
19. How many hours a week do you work? 0
20. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed? none
21.Favorite age you have been so far? um none
22. Your worst enemy? Myself
23. What is your current desk top picture? nothing, just blue fishnet patterns
24. What was the last thing you said to someone? no clue.
25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to erase all of your regrets, what would you choose? a million bucks because if i didn't regret anything i would never have learned anything and i'd just rack them all up again. plus, you can buy happiness with a million bucks. so there. (agreed)
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brilliancexalive: *sigh* i'm so fed up with life right now.
hearbrighteyes: how come
brilliancexalive: i just don't know what to do with myself. i'm mad at my parents, i'm mad at the people who adopted my daughter. i'm mad at the world with the way it is and how hard it is to change anything. i'm mad that i can't make a difference. i'm mad that no one is proud of me. i'm mad that i can't make anyone love me. i'm mad that i can't find anything that makes me happy anymore. most of all i'm mad at myself for exisisting in the first place, i feel like a waste of time and space.
hearbrighteyes: sounds like your mad
brilliancexalive: haha, what made you think that
hearbrighteyes: lol...i can't say anything like everyone is special, or everyone has a purpose for existing, because i wouldn't believe it if i said it and then i would feel like a phony...but i've felt some of that, i've hated myself many days
hearbrighteyes: so, on some level, i can relate to some of those feelings...not that that makes you feel any better
brilliancexalive: yeah.
hearbrighteyes: i can't type anything honest that is nice
hearbrighteyes: i suck
brilliancexalive: i don't know, i just feel like i've done some pretty good things for people, and i keep waiting and waiting for something good to happen to me, and nothing ever does. i know so many people who have had so many good things happen to them and they don't deserve it.
brilliancexalive: i thought i believed in karma, but i'm starting to change my mind.
Current Mood:
sad sad
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i'm making all entries no comments. kthx.
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